The short of it is, I’m a thinking clown. That’s “a clown who thinks” and “not a clown at thinking,” and it’s a symptom of chronic dichotomy. While this is my personal blog, I’ve been published professionally at these places and can be contacted here.

Why “Gunmetal Geisha”? It’s the right touch of dichotomy.

Geisha are emblematic of grace and femininity, favored with wit, and skilled in the arts. Gunmetal was used to make cannons. The two are not alike. Fusing them together evokes an unbreakable but alluring force, which also alliterates. And who doesn’t like alliteration?

Then there’s me. Writer, filmmaker, actor. A person living life imperfectly. Those are the things I write about, especially the imperfect part, but also about gaining better footing on an uneven path.

Five things you’ll learn about me in the upcoming posts:

  • I’m an overachiever trapped in a f*ckup’s body.
  • I love words the way other people love ice-cream and dogs.
  • I’m equally at home talking about potholes and rashes as I am about snowflakes and blue skies.
  • If my humor were a plant, it wouldn’t wear a plaque saying “plant.”
  • I’m lost and found, wayward and well-rounded, a Gunmetal Geisha with a come-hither glare.

ProfileGunmetal Geisha isn’t anonymous. It’s a moniker. As a personal blog, it’s highly subjective, with the exception of Cathartic Monkeyism. You could say Cathartic Monkeyism is objectivity derived through my subjective experience. But mainly, I made up Cathartic Monkeyism so I don’t sound like a complete ass when ending posts with little axioms.

While I sometimes change the names of actual people, I don’t alter or embellish circumstances. But I do care about narrative and don’t pretend my memory is precise. That means on rare occasions, fact may be substituted with verisimilitude to fill a memory hole.

There aren’t more biographical details on this page because the blog itself is one long self-examination, and it incorporates a history.

But for those in a hurry:

I live in Los Angeles, grew up in New York, and was born in — gasp! — Iran. Somewhere in between, I spent a good amount of time traveling. Things happened.

If you write, you know all about wanting to be read, and if you’re a blogger, you understand that every comment, share and subscription counts. If you’re a friend and you discover yourself in these posts, don’t get mad, get email notifications!

Seriously, sign up and keep tabs on what I say about you next.

Whether you’re none or all of the above, thank you for reading. I’ll do my best to keep you entertained.

About that though — one thing I learned while putting this site together is most monkeys aren’t conventionally cute, which I only discovered during an image search for dancing monkeys. This would’ve been good to know before I likened myself to a monkey as much as I did in the first few posts…

For a detailed history of me, the inception of this blog, and how monkeys figure into it, some not unfunny reading begins here.

Monkey Strip

Last words…

On Comments:  When it comes to reader comments, I’ve been known to edit typos. But to date, I’ve only censored two lines, both of which involved attacks on persons other than myself. Naturally, my gunmetal self isn’t afraid of criticism, but I can’t tolerate attacks on third parties who aren’t present to defend themselves.

On Rights:  All written content within this blog, unless otherwise indicated, is by me and I reserve all rights to it. If you borrow a phrase or two, I’d appreciate being credited and notified.

On Images:  The majority of images on this site either have their source attributions, or are by me. Some remain without attribution, but that’s only because I’m a terrible person.*

*See above text regarding humor and plants.

WordPress informs me that below this paragraph, some random ad might appear unless I spring for the no-ad upgrade. If so, apologies.



  1. mike · · Reply

    I believe some monkeys may be cute but I can’t think of any off hand, other than flying monkeys from Oz.

    1. I thought so too until I came across some of their pictures!

  2. P.J. · · Reply

    I truly love this about page and your “six” items. I can relate to some of the things you’ve said here. I’m also glad I came across your blog. I’ll enjoy following along.

    1. I’m equally glad to have you here and to discover your work.

  3. Refreshing honesty juxtaposed with a gunmetal mask. I love the paradox.

    1. Some people get it and some don’t. Glad you do.

  4. Yes … I think I’ll fit in and feel comforable, here 😉 I prefer words to people, which is silly given that one couldn’t go without the other … but there again, it’s nice to feel paradoxical.

    You, my dear, are quite beautiful in mind as well as face. As for the overachieving in a fuckup’s body – well, I’ll hold your hand on the fall down the dragon’s throat, since it seems neither of us can just stand on the edge of the cave and peer in.

    1. You are quite a find, that last sentence has me in a swoon…

  5. mike · · Reply

    You are definitely an interesting read, well-spoken/written and unique. I hope to see more of your views on your page in the future.

    1. Thank you, I really appreciate the support.

  6. theanticougar · · Reply

    Bring it, Gunmetal. Bring it!

    1. I’m happy you’re back!

  7. Just meandering with interest through your postings and such. Stopping joyfully now and again to smell a particularly sweet phrase or lightly touch a braid of concepts. It occured to me that, of course, you knew that contradictions are signs of higher organization – “Gunmetal Geisha”, and so you are.

    1. I don’t know how deserving I am of your kind words, but your comment makes me wish for a few more hours per day to add more frequent content…

  8. Geisha, i just love your writing! the fearless honesty continuously piques my curiosity and your boundless energy won’t allow me to look away until i’ve finished the last sentence. and this from someone with a sometimes, short attention span!

    just wanted to visit a bit to acknowledge and ty for following my poetry and writing, encouragement is always really appreciated.

    1. Thank you! And I’m happy you paid a visit back.

      If you’re making it to the last sentence of my long posts, that’s encouragement indeed.

      Looking forward to more of your work.

  9. •I love words the way other people love ice-cream and dogs*

    I feel the same!

    In fact, words are the reason I am still here.


    1. Yes, I’d be lost without writing.

  10. You had me at “Gunmetal Geisha,” and the rest pulled me in deeper. Love your writing style and, if you don’t mind, will remain here of my own free will 😉

    1. So very glad to have you, since I greatly admire your writing style.

  11. I am so glad I came across your post on BBW. I concur with everyone else here. Love your writing style. It’s so visual and captivates me in ways I’ve not experienced on WP before, and I read a lot of posts. I look forward to reading more of yours. Nice to meet you.

    “A person living life imperfectly.”

    Love this!


    1. Thank you so much, Victoria, happy to have you here.

  12. GG, I follow you now and damn, am I ever glad. Various blogger friends led me to you, sis. I have them to thank. So, I’m greatly looking forward to exploring more of your stuff. I love words, too, which is a good thing, because, like you, I write a crap-load of them. Ohhhh, my heart is home here. {{{Purr}}}

    1. I’ll have to thank them too, whoever they are. Glad to make your acquaintance, going to check out some of those words of yours…

      1. Gunmetal G, That would be BBW/LeClown, Victoria from NeuronNotes, and Ned from Ned’s Blog. I just kept stumbling across your gorgeous Gravatar image. And, I’m so, so glad that I came over to join your tribe. Hugs, BigLizzy

      2. That’s lovely, thanks for letting me know.

  13. GG, I found you because you found me…it was just meant to be, right? I think your sense of humour dovetails nicely with mine but I’ll admit to not really being a blogger when it comes to wanting an audience for my writings, it’s okay to be different on some things. Looking forward to exploring you…I mean, your blog…Respect REDdog

    1. Funny, I was just on your About page, with the intention of commenting that we share some similarities.

      Yes, of course I want an audience. You and I could both write in a journal and lock it away. Yet we choose to share publicly, we choose communion. I see no shame in it.

      I don’t give a shit about statistics either – well, maybe a little. The point is this: I have a handful of engaged and intelligent readers. I find this rewarding. And I wouldn’t trade a single one of them for a hundred new ones. Not one of my readers, not ever.

      I’m devoted to them. They stuck by me and without them, I wouldn’t bother coming back.

  14. Fuck me, didn’t mean to offend! I take it you wouldn’t trade a single one of your deeply engaged and intelligent readers for a hundred…did I get that right? Sheesh! I write for me, just because I chose to do so in a public realm has nothing to do with the public, I’d write if no one read it…

    1. Haha, I wasn’t offended. I’m just emphatic. It’s hard to read tone — I should’ve riddled the response with a bunch of smiley faces!

      And of course, I’ve also always written whether or not I shared it with someone. But in this instance, I was specifically referring to blogging, which is by definition, for “sharing.”

      — Smiley face, with a tongue, and a wink.

      1. Haaaa! GG, I just fell in love with you. As you can see, we have “emphatic” in common also. Humblest apologies, I hereby commit to reading your stuff until I can read between the lines as I should. Cheers and thanks Rd

      2. Excellent! No need for apologies, just glad to know you weren’t offended either.

        Cheers to you.

  15. Pleasure to meet you, GG. I’m loving all of the antiquated sepia tones around this place! Banging style. :0)

    1. Lovely to meet you as well. A cursory look at your blog tells me you’re no stranger to vintage tones. I love it and look forward to exploring your site.

  16. Every once in a while I stumble across a blog and think, “okay, here’s something worth coming back to.” Glad I stumbled on this one.

    1. And I’m glad to have you here.

  17. What powerful writing…you make me think of beat poets. I can just hear you reading your work aloud in a low voice with a whiskey in your hand!

    1. That is a great image. My voice isn’t very low, but the whiskey would help in lowering the register.

  18. Greetings again! Your name left me wondering and when I read this, I noticed a few familiar names in the like bar! I must have seen your name on a blog in the past! Besides this, your “about me’ page is just powerful and wonderful at the same time. Just like your name. Which I love (like I already mentioned before haha). I adore Geishas and the world they surround themselves in.

    1. I’m so happy to see you — after I saw your work on Instagram, I found myself thinking about your aesthetic and your card game (fantastic title by the way — “Elevenses”), and here you are! I adore your illustrations.

  19. Such a wonderful site, with great pictures and powerful writing. I’ve nominated you for a Liebster Award. There are instructions here (http://wp.me/p3tK67-9q) if you choose to accept it, but if not that’s completely fine too. Look forward to coming back to spend more time on your site soon, Nillu

    1. Thanks, Nillu. I will definitely check out this Liebster thing.

  20. Hi, I’ve just discovered your blog and love reading it! I came here through A to Z, but bet I will follow long after that as well. Because what’s 26 posts in a universe of gunmetal blogging, I wonder…?

    1. Great, thanks for letting me know! (26 posts at a rate of one a day, definitely tests the gunmetal aspect…)

  21. Chris · · Reply

    I think your writing is awesome. You are a great soul. Can’t wait to read more (at some point I should work though…sigh)

    these two points of yours resonated with me:
    • I’m equally at home talking about potholes and rashes as I am about snowflakes and blue skies.
    • If my humor were a plant, it wouldn’t wear a plaque saying “plant.”


    1. Thank you and…nice to meet you. Have a good day working.

  22. […] artery-clogging, feast your eyeballs on the blogs of two remarkable ladies. Gunmetal Geisha and inconsistently yours nominated me respectively for the Liebster and WordPress Family Awards. […]

  23. […]  Step Two: Watch the rain falling outside my window.  Step Three: Send a WhatsApp message to Gunmetal Geisha Step Four: Awkwardly wave at coworker because he caught me looking shady while whispering odd […]

  24. Monkeys aren’t cute in the monkey house at the zoo. But in the bush they’re delightful. It’s all about being in the right habitat. Glad I found yours…:)

    1. You are absolutely right and I’m glad to see you here!

  25. julie · · Reply

    Hi, I’ve seen you around, this is my first visit here. Can I say omg, you are beautiful! Sorry, of course I can, I just did. I can’t wait to look around a bit. Today I followed you home from Aussa’s but I have seen you other places as well. It would appear I am going to have to frequent your space too.

    1. Wow, thank you. I’m blushing and I’m staring at your WP generated avatar like I might see through it and see your actual face. It will be nice getting to know you.

  26. julie · · Reply

    Ha! This is one of the worst looks WP has given me. It should also have a top hat I think. Like a grumpy old English unibrow.

    1. I especially like the monocle…

  27. I found you because of a little video to Lizzi on retaining one’s Englishness in the face of America. And I’m so glad 🙂

    1. Hello there! Sorry I missed this comment for so long. I’m thrilled you found me and I’m looking forward to getting to know you.

  28. Totally not stalking you at all. Never mind. Nothing to see here.

    1. Stalk away, I like it!

  29. […] thanks to Gunmetal Geisha for helping me edit the shite out of this thing, and to Angelle for providing emotional […]

  30. This is one of the best names I’ve seen on WordPress so far! I sort of regret not coming up with it myself… You have a cool name, so I’m going to see if you have cool posts as well.

    And if you ever gert tired of that name, you can give me a call 😉

    1. The name is either hated or loved. It’s interesting.

  31. Between the Heart · · Reply

    One word to describe how I feel about this blog: Love. Is that saying enough?
    you have a new follower, by the way. 💗

    1. A pleasure having you here, thank you!

  32. I saw you follow me on Instagram and checked yours, saw your blog adress and fortunatelly visit it. Mind-opening and tempting, keep writing!.

  33. I am happy to find you! You are awesome! 🙂

  34. Sreejit Poole · · Reply

    GG! Hi. I just wanted to invite you to a blogging guest post event that I’m having in November on “Walking with Intention.” I love your blog and your words and the way you string ideas together. If you have any interest, the details are here: http://theseekersdungeon.com/30-days-of-walkingwithintention/

  35. I’m sad. Mostly that I haven’t taken the time to get to know you more. This is also why I should have gone to Dallas. I’m dumb.
    But I’m also subscribed, so that means I think you’re pretty damn swell, and I’m working on it. 🙂

    1. We’ll get to know each other well, don’t you worry. And there will be other meet-ups.

      1. I hope so! 🙂 On both counts.


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