The short of it is, I’m a thinking clown. That’s “a clown who thinks” and “not a clown at thinking,” and it’s a symptom of chronic dichotomy.
Why “Gunmetal Geisha”? It’s the right touch of dichotomy.
Geisha are emblematic of grace and femininity, favored with wit, and skilled in the arts. Gunmetal was used to make cannons. The two are not alike. Fusing them together evokes an unbreakable but alluring force, which also alliterates. And who doesn’t like alliteration?
Then there’s me. Writer, filmmaker, actor. A person living life imperfectly. Those are the things I write about, especially the imperfect part, but also about better footing on an uneven path.
Five things you’ll learn about me in the upcoming posts:
- I’m an overachiever trapped in a f*ckup’s body.
- I love words the way other people love ice-cream and dogs.
- I’m equally at home talking about potholes and rashes as I am about snowflakes and blue skies.
- If my humor were a plant, it wouldn’t wear a plaque saying “plant.”
- I’m lost and found, wayward and well-rounded, a Gunmetal Geisha with a come-hither glare.
Gunmetal Geisha isn’t anonymous. It’s a moniker. As a personal blog, it’s highly subjective, with the exception of Cathartic Monkeyism. You could say Cathartic Monkeyism is objectivity derived through my subjective experience. But mainly, I made up Cathartic Monkeyism so I don’t sound like a complete ass when ending posts with little axioms.
While I sometimes change the names of actual people, I don’t alter or embellish circumstances. But I do care about narrative and don’t pretend my memory is precise. That means on rare occasions, fact may be substituted with verisimilitude to fill a memory hole.
There aren’t more biographical details on this page because the blog itself is one long self-examination, and it incorporates a history.
But for those in a hurry:
I live in Los Angeles, grew up in New York, and was born in — gasp! — Iran. Somewhere in between, I spent a good amount of time traveling. Things happened.
If you write, you know all about wanting to be read, and if you’re a blogger, you understand that every comment, share and subscription counts. If you’re a friend and you discover yourself in these posts, don’t get mad, get email notifications!
Seriously, sign up and keep tabs on what I say about you next…
Whether you’re none or all of the above, thank you for reading.
Finally, if you’re here of your own free will, I openly declare…I love you.
As such, I’ll do my best to keep you entertained. About that though — one thing I learned while putting this site together:
- Most monkeys aren’t conventionally cute, which I only discovered during an image search for dancing monkeys. This would’ve been good to know before I likened myself to a monkey as much as I did in the first few posts.
For a detailed history of me, the inception of this blog, and how monkeys figure into it, some not unfunny reading begins here.
Some of the places I’ve been featured can be found here.
On Comments: When it comes to reader comments, I’ve been known to edit typos. But to date, I’ve only censored two lines, both of which involved attacks on persons other than myself. Naturally, my gunmetal self isn’t afraid of criticism, but I can’t tolerate attacks on third parties who aren’t present to defend themselves.
On Rights: All written content within this blog, unless otherwise indicated, is by me and I reserve all rights to it. If you borrow a phrase or two, I’d appreciate being credited and notified.
On Images: The majority of images on this site either have their source attributions, or are by me. Some remain without attribution, but that’s only because I’m a terrible person.*
*See above text regarding humor and plants.
WordPress informs me that below this paragraph, some random ad might appear unless I spring for the no-ad upgrade. If so, apologies.