Naturally, I Want to be Perfect

Perfect Leaf

What’s new? Nothing and everything. The future is now.

“I just want to be perfect.”

It’s just one, straightforward request, right? Yet notice how the more you strive toward perfection, the more doors open to failure.

This isn’t a bad thing, and these two Roberts concur:

    “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
    – Robert F. Kennedy
    “People who avoid failure also avoid success.”
    – Robert T. Kiyosaki (I have no idea who that is but I kinda like him.)

Failure might be a crucial step toward success, but sometimes there’s plenty of humor in it too. There’s a reason fails are the bones of most comedy. We don’t call it “spectacular” failure for nothing.

So it’s with a tangle of feelings — a good tangle, like sugar winding into cotton candy — that I come to share my exciting news with you, lovely readers whom I’ve missed. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about this blog and how to stage my umpteenth comeback. You’ll be happy to know I’m putting to use my newly acquired multi-tasking skills with said comeback, good news and regular Gunmetal Geisha sidetracking all in one post. Yes, yes, the exciting news is a bit further below — it wouldn’t be Gunmetal Geisha without a fussy (but charming!) preamble.

Nearly three years ago I came your way for the first time with this blog and announced, “I want to work for myself and I want to write.”

I recounted a brief history, and told you where I meant to go with the blog. I also talked about failure some, called myself a dancing monkey and foretold the future:

    My big-fish little-pond victories made me feel like maybe big-fish big-ocean victories weren’t out of reach. I’d likely be accused of being a sensitive artsy type before a born go-getter, with the time for a full life pursuing study, passions, and worldwide travel, but no money for a full fridge, much less a Red camera or a trip on the Orient Express. I’ve enjoyed a pittance of achievement, and a heap of failure. But I remain unashamed because I’ve never failed to be exactly my own self. Being a self-reflective writer is what I am, dissecting my psyche and parsing how my interior parlays with real life is what I do. Is there no room for dancing monkeys? In the pratfall tradition, you fall, somebody thinks it’s funny and you get attention. It’s pretty elementary: hey look at me, I’m here! ‘Like’ me so I can feel validated for the hour. Unless we have some crap to promote, which is no fun for anyone.

The future is now, and not just because I have something (uncrappy) to promote. The future is now because while the road had its detours, in one sense I do work for myself now. The jobs I take are either at-home or on my schedule, but the part that makes it “working for myself” is realizing, finally, that consistent income gives me the freedom to do what I want. My path is the same as it’s always been, off-track and winding with an unseen (or imagined?) Shangri-La at the end. It’s been a slow path because when you choose the scenic route, you stop often to enjoy the view. Today, I still pursue exactly what I want in the way that I want, although with more urgency than usual because the fruits of labor might be ripening and they’re probably mouthwatering.

So what’s new? Nothing and everything. I’m still confounded by laundry and grocery shopping and don’t know how to be on time. I’m making films. My writing is being published. I’m moving to my dream apartment. I’m in love (yes, still).

No one can accuse me of not knowing what I want; they could just accuse me of taking my time.

Anyway, I’m not so much bragging as documenting growth since the inception of Gunmetal Geisha. But get ready, because now I’m about to brag:

I’m in a book!

It’s not just any book, but volume four in a New York Times Bestselling series. That is, an essay of mine is in the book, and since we’ve determined my work is “me,” then it’s basically the same thing — I am in a book, you guys!


The book is called I Just Want to be to Perfect and it’s a collection of essays all about (spectacularly) failing at exactly that, co-authored by women who see the humor in everyday fails. My essay, entitled (no less than!) “The Rise and Fall of the Perfect Seductress,” tells the story of the second worst thing that’s ever happened to me, which I alluded to in this post.

I Just Want to be to Perfect was released a few weeks ago and on the second day made it to “#2” on Amazon’s “Hot New Releases,” also breaking top ten in a humor category. Needless to say, this was all very exciting for me.

I don’t love promoting, but I’ll probably be back with a couple of personal “fail” posts because I have a lot of fun with those. And of course, I did make a page for you to be able to thoroughly check out I Just Want to be Perfect, so please do!



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  1. Paul · · Reply

    Very cool GG! You are published – awesome! We missed you and when someone recently asked about you I surmised a new love. Do Tell! And congratulations gurl – you made it!

    1. Hi Paul! Thank you — I don’t know that I’ve “made it” per se, but it’s a lot of fun, anyway. As far as “new love,” I thought everyone who read this blog was privy to all that already, considering it’s been nearly two years since the Exceptionally Tall Man and I have been together!

      1. Paul · ·

        You’re still with the Exceptionally Tall Man? Whew! Are we going for a record here GG?

      2. Paul, Paul, I’m surprised at you, my top three all-time favorite reader! You’ve read most posts, so how could you forget that I’m a serial monagamist? And for me to break a relationship record, it needs to be over five years, because that’s how long all my real ones have lasted.

  2. Congratulations on being in a book — way cool — Even falling is success if you happen to be falling UP the stairs. But, wait, there’s more (I stole that), what about the falling in love part? I guess we will have to wait for that detail. Anyway, its good to have you back having stocked up on tales to tell.

    1. Ah, thanks! As far as the in love part, details of it are over the blog. Here, for example:

      1. Oh, I missed or forgot that and was thinking it was a new object of affection. Well, still in love since at least November starts to sound like a keeper.

      2. Yeah, close to two years now, so I’d say it’s likely!

  3. Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
    She’s back!

  4. I am so proud and envious and inspired. 🙂

    1. Thanks, my dear! We should be in an anthology together.

      1. I’m working on two. But only if accepted. If not, then I’ve never tried to be in an anthology.

      2. Ha! I get you.

  5. Lizzi · · Reply

    GIGI! I am so SO excited for you! How wonderful, and how lovely to read your latest re-entry into blogging. I’m just glad you’re not an asteroid or you’d have burned up by now – but your thoughts still leave me starry-eyed and I love how you put things. HOORAY for you being perfectly, absolutely you. However long you take about it (and indeed, why NOT?!)

    1. That is an exceptionally lovely comment. But then again, your comments always are. As are you. Miss you.

      1. YOU are exceptional and I’m so glad to know you. Miss you lots. I’m glad things are going well, and I like seeing your Instagrams, and knowing you’re okay.

  6. Congratulations GG, for me it’s nice to see someone succeed especially when you’re sharing the ride and it’s so enjoyable to watch (read!)

    1. That gave me goose bumps, in a good way, Thank you so much.

  7. fantastic GG. Good job, and great to hear from you. Your posts are necessarily infrequent and irregular. I understand. More power to you!

    1. Hello! I was thinking about you! I have a new post scheduled in the next few hours and excited to be back to my voice. I’m glad you’re here.

  8. A · · Reply

    Congratulations on your essay being published, as well as the success of the book overall!!!! ❤

    1. Thank you so much my dear!


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