What’s new? Nothing and everything. The future is now.

                                                                                                                                                       
“I just want to be perfect.”

It’s just one, straightforward request, right? Yet notice how the more you strive toward perfection, the more doors open to failure.

This isn’t a bad thing, and these two Roberts concur:

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
– Robert F. Kennedy

“People who avoid failure also avoid success.”
– Robert T. Kiyosaki ←(I have no idea who that is but I kinda like him.)

Failure might be a crucial step toward success, but sometimes there’s plenty of humor in it too. There’s a reason fails are the bones of most comedy. We don’t call it “spectacular” failure for nothing.

So it’s with a tangle of feelings — a good tangle, like sugar winding into cotton candy — that I come to share my exciting news with you, lovely readers whom I’ve missed. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about this blog and how to stage my umpteenth comeback. You’ll be happy to know I’m putting to use my newly acquired multi-tasking skills with said comeback, good news and regular Gunmetal Geisha sidetracking all in one post. Yes, yes, the exciting news is a bit further below — it wouldn’t be Gunmetal Geisha without a fussy (but charming!) preamble.

Nearly three years ago I came your way for the first time with this blog and announced, “I want to work for myself and I want to write.”

I recounted a brief history, and told you where I meant to go with the blog. I also talked about failure some, called myself a dancing monkey and foretold the future:

My big-fish little-pond victories made me feel like maybe big-fish big-ocean victories weren’t out of reach. I’d likely be accused of being a sensitive artsy type before a born go-getter, with the time for a full life pursuing study, passions, and worldwide travel, but no money for a full fridge, much less a Red camera or a trip on the Orient Express. I’ve enjoyed a pittance of achievement, and a heap of failure. But I remain unashamed because I’ve never failed to be exactly my own self. Being a self-reflective writer is what I am, dissecting my psyche and parsing how my interior parlays with real life is what I do. Is there no room for dancing monkeys? In the pratfall tradition, you fall, somebody thinks it’s funny and you get attention. It’s pretty elementary: hey look at me, I’m here! ‘Like’ me so I can feel validated for the hour. Unless we have some crap to promote, which is no fun for anyone.

The future is now, and not just because I have something (uncrappy) to promote. The future is now because while the road had its detours, in one sense I do work for myself now. The jobs I take are either at-home or on my schedule, but the part that makes it “working for myself” is realizing, finally, that consistent income gives me the freedom to do what I want. My path is the same as it’s always been, off-track and winding with an unseen (or imagined?) Shangri-La at the end. It’s been a slow path because when you choose the scenic route, you stop often to enjoy the view. Today, I still pursue exactly what I want in the way that I want, although with more urgency than usual because the fruits of labor might be ripening and they’re probably mouthwatering.

So what’s new? Nothing and everything. I’m still confounded by laundry and grocery shopping and don’t know how to be on time. I’m making films. My writing is being published. I’m moving to my dream apartment. I’m in love (yes, still).

No one can accuse me of not knowing what I want; they could just accuse me of taking my time.

Anyway, I’m not so much bragging as documenting growth since the inception of Gunmetal Geisha. But get ready, because now I’m about to brag:

I’m in a book!

It’s not just any book, but volume four in a New York Times Bestselling series. That is, an essay of mine is in the book, and since we’ve determined my work is “me,” then it’s basically the same thing — I am in a book, you guys!

The book is called I Just Want to be to Perfect and it’s a collection of essays all about (spectacularly) failing at exactly that, co-authored by women who see the humor in everyday fails. My essay, entitled (no less than!) “The Rise and Fall of the Perfect Seductress,” tells the story of the second worst thing that’s ever happened to me, which I alluded to in this post.

I Just Want to be to Perfect was released a few weeks ago and on the second day made it to “#2” on Amazon’s “Hot New Releases,” also breaking top ten in a humor category. Needless to say, this was all very exciting for me.

I don’t love promoting, but I’ll probably be back with a couple of personal “fail” posts because I have a lot of fun with those. And of course, I did make a page for you to be able to thoroughly check out I Just Want to be Perfect, so please do!

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