Can I use bread to eat geisha?
Due to an international array of active masturbators seeking to stumble on unclothed geishas doing vile things, the post “Geisha Silver Pxrn,” the first installment of Gunmetal Geisha search terms, became my top third post of all time. In some arenas, it even caused this blog to be classified as “adult.” Not in spite of, but because of it bringing in an inordinate amount of pxrn-seeking traffic, I’ve replaced O’s with X’s in every instance of the word “pxrn” here.
Must be that while I want traffic, I want it from people who operate from the head that sits above their shoulders. Go figure.
That’s not to say I won’t be your willing dancing monkey to get you to come back. These and other gloriously lurid topics await you in the future: why I jumped down a four-foot wall in my bikini in the middle of the night; how handprints ended up on my boobs right before a date; my considerable mommy issues; a dance-off video with a certain in-demand redhead.
I’ve been working on a bunch of this material to make up for lost time, which is why you ought to subscribe to Gunmetal Geisha with your email and get notified as soon as they’re published. I’m not sure why it’s important for me to build up my email list, but someone said so at a big blogging conference and it’s the only pointer I remember. I know it won’t hurt when I [finish writing and] bring my book to a publisher [by stalking to learn where to corner them], getting to brag about all of you who willingly signed up to receive my writing. I’ll never get spammy on you or share your email, and come on, don’t you want me in your inbox?
As far as “Geisha Silver Pxrn,”* as much as I enjoyed the sadistic irony when it came to the sleazoid set in search of geisha pxrn finding themselves at the opening of the post faced with the line, “Humanity is a bunch of weirdos,” I’ve turned the post private for now. The above link leads to an image of the post, not the post itself.
Why yes, I do have strong opinions about pxrnxgraphy, but at the same time I don’t believe in censorship and don’t really care what anyone does legally — as long as they don’t come looking for it on my site.
So have a heart and sign up, because shutting down that pxrn-seekers’ portal is going to cut my traffic by two-thirds.
In the meantime, I’ve put together this multi-format (audio of me “performing” below) — some might even say, interactive — search term installment for you.
But before the poetry of the curious and the perverted meld once again in avant-garde verse, here are a few other pearls and turds of the search term psyche that are noteworthy, some of which deserve an answer:
“maybe i am delusional? i definitely dont have erotomania though because dont believe anyone in love with me. can anyone give me some clues about whether i am delusional or not?”
Noble seeker of virtual wisdom, though your search phrase is the longest I’ve ever seen, there’s not enough information to answer your question. If you’ve read Erotomania Or…? and are worried about seeing signs that aren’t there, I imagine a good remedy might be to only consider concrete proof and direct answers.
Why lie, a couple or more of those words actually apply.
Your racking dyslexia might be a more pressing issue.
Because it’s time for pxrn to “go where no man has gone before.”
“can I use bread to eat geisha?”
This one’s got to be a deliberate plant. If not, geishas of the world, arm yourselves against a carb-loving cannibal.
Finally, it turns out that geisha and silver are victims to a mind-boggling variety of spelling massacres:
silwer, silfer, silvporn, pxrn geyshas love, geishea pxrn, gesha dating, skinny ghiesha, giesha email
The rest below is, well, poetry. Each line is a separate web search that at some point led to this blog. I simply selected and shuffled a bunch to put together. I’ve fixed typos and misspellings, added punctuation and capitalization, and in the case of two lines, removed the tail-end of the search phrase. Other than that, each line is exact to its original content and “poetic” incoherence.
I’ve even taken the liberty to record it out loud so you can press play and scroll down to read along, because there’s no poetic conceit quite like the well-intended inquiry coupled with sub-humanity’s handiwork. (Be forewarned, I pronounce it gay-sha and not ghee-sha.)