Letter G is for the Google search terms that led to this blog.
A to Z entries: My post for each letter of the alphabet will be anecdotes or musings based on an element from the previous letter’s post. Names always changed, events always real.
~ Letter F was for the Feeling Balloon scaring people off, and now, potentially scary people Googling…geisha silver porn. ~
A note about missing posts: If you’re reading the alphabet posts in order and discover missing letters, it likely means I’m revising and incorporating them into bigger pieces for other sites. Over the years, this blog has served my writing as a developmental and exercise space.
Humankind is a bunch of weirdos. At least, that would explain why Google search terms are so often hilarious and bizarre. Aside from the garden variety pervy searches, the terms leading to Gunmetal Geisha are as baffling as an avant-garde poem. So I’ve decided to put together just that, an avant-garde poem using exclusively the search terms reported on my stats.
Each line of the poem is one intact search. I’ve chosen an order for the individual searches, and the only modifications I’ve made are correcting spelling and adding punctuation.
Behold, for none of these combinations of words ever existed on this blog to account for such searches. Until now.
Geisha Silver Porn
5 am love note
how to tell him I give up in a message
lovable matter, sentence of granny
never give up someone like this message
saucy heroine
wise message
who said dreaming is for suckers
bejeweled we meet, on me you see what I mean
skinny teen
oops boobs on a street
my friends say I’m malnourished
skinny girls love to f***
does Antarctica have hot girls?
thin girls dancing in bikini
girls dancing
model’s dance
girl, hot sex, Antarctic
oops exhibitionist photos
geisha voyeur
geisha dating
boyfriend and father always at each other’s throat
gunmetal stick
broke my father’s rib
what is the momentum of objects or people in snowboarding
gunmetal, magical properties
commercial with snowboarder goes back in time
fairies and time travel
saucy heroine
never give up someone like this message
lovable matter, sentence of granny
how to tell him I give up in a message
5 am love note
geisha silver porn.
~ Part of the A to Z Challenge ~
A post a day except Sunday for the month of April to cover topics beginning with each letter of the alphabet.
Cathartic Monkeyism returns in May.
for new GG posts
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Gunmetal Geisha 
This is a fabulous idea!! Can I steal it?
Be my guest. I’m sure I’m not the first to think of it. Thanks for asking!
Well, you’re the first one I’ve seen do it, sooo….
G is also for Great Idea for a Post. 🙂 I want to know more about whoever searched for “lovable matter, sentence of granny.” I probably don’t want to meet that person (maybe I do?), but I do want to study him or her discreetely from a distance, I think.
Yeah, I reserve judgment on whether I want to be in even the same hemisphere with them, until I decipher the meaning of the phrase…
“Saucy heroine” is definitely my fav for you. Ha! That’s a great “poem” GG. Definitely unique. Blog On!
“Blog on…” The daily thing… Oy.
Geisha-babe,
What a great post of much “gloriousness”. You make me laugh. I love the poem. 🙂
I get some really weird search terms, too and almost always sex-related because I talk about the body…alot. 🙂 These are my terms for today: “lovely women’s bodies, big body.com, boody biotefol big, blog model men body beautiful brief”.
Admittedly, these are pretty tame for my blog. Usually, I get really lascivious search terms, like the ones that correspond to men looking for fat women to plug. LOL! Ah, good times! 😉
Thanks for the entertainment today, my sis. Love you!
I’m glad you laughed, Lizzi! Yours is a funny comment in and of its own.
I see I’m also going to have to stack your results, if I can 😀
You mean with your search term stats? If so, yes!
I shall try my best *wicked grins*
Amazing! ❤
Thanks darling!
This is amazing and hilarious. What a great idea!
Kate at Daily discovery
Smiling, thanks!
Oh, yours are lovely. Mine are all about vaginas and roaches and rotten potatoes. Though that is mostly what I write about.
You never, ever fail to make me laugh, smile, or have some sort of pleasant reaction.
That, as my daughter would say, is totes cray cray. Good one, GG.
Indeed “cray cray.”
this is actually incredibly beautiful, the way that you did it, Nice cadence too.
jean http://prettykittydogmoonjewelry.blogspot.com/
I very much appreciate that you recognize there was some poetry in the words to begin with — I wouldn’t have thought to do this otherwise. Thank you.
What a great idea. Half the fun of having a blog is delving into the stats. I don’t nearly as many racy search terms, but they’re comical no less, especially when they’re situational. When I see a search term such as “bats in the attic” I like to imagine a man frantically googling whilst his spouse is chasing a small winged mammal with a broom.
Search terms are great fun. Of course, by having included “porn” in the title of this post, I get even more pervy terms. And I do mean pervy rather than racy! Also, some people have informed me that this comes up as “adult” site on their work computer, which I find disturbing. (But funny too.)