The Alpha Male


The letter A, dedicated to the alpha male.


A to Z entries:  My post for each letter of the alphabet will be anecdotes or musings based on an element from the previous letter’s post.  Names always changed, events always real.

 ~ Letter A is first, and first is…alpha. ~

A few months ago…

If you watch the film Adore, about two beach dwelling, Australian women in their late forties, mothers to twenty-year-old sons, you’d mumble, yeah right.  Most people wouldn’t buy the portrayal of moms to grown men by such striking, yoga-perfect, sun-kissed blondes like Naomi Watts and Robin Wright.  But one of those exact women exists.  And she is my darling friend whom we will name…Naomi, because why not.

Naomi is remarkably tall and thin.  She’s Australian, mother to not one, but two men in their twenties, and I can describe her perpetually tan, surfer body as definitively killer.  She has a blonde beachy mane, and ice-blue wildcat eyes into which I gaze endlessly when she speaks.  While I stare, the sensation is vaguely like a long, peaceful swim.

We’re seated at a wood-paneled bar in Hollywood.  I order a drink called Stockholm Syndrome, because I can’t resist the name or the irony.

Naomi is soothing and kind as I relay my latest reason to swear off men.

“You need a challenge,” she says.  “After all, you’re used to dating assholes.  I get it.”  She pronounces it ahs-holes and purrs a little.

I’m a bit offended; I’ve never dated an asshole.  Maybe one.  But chalk that up to variety.

“Scarcity of assholes is hardly the problem,” I say, a little despairingly.  Lately, I’m done with any guy within a dinner or two.  But the subject is boring to me, so I change it.

“What about you,” I ask.  “What happened with the kid surfer?”

“I let him go.”

“But,” I say with surprise, “I thought you had fun with him!”  The “surfer boy” was twenty or so years younger than Naomi.

The alluring, nearly-fifty women in Adore have a scene in which they lie on the sands of a dream-like ocean watching their sons surf.  They’re like gods, one of them says.  Later, each mother ends up having an affair with the other’s son.

“Forget that he doesn’t have a real job.  Or any thoughts about his future,” Naomi shrugs.  Then she sighs and says, “He just wasn’t alpha enough.”

I tilt my head sharply.  My eyebrows raise.  All on their own.  It’s like someone just removed cotton balls from my ears.  I look around.  The world seems larger and better-lit than a moment ago.  He wasn’t alpha enough.

“You just explained away years of underlying confusion for me!”  I tell Naomi.  Bam.  It all falls into place:  The effect some guys have on me.  The ones that make me feel like a helpless kitten.  Happily helpless.  The ones that aren’t afraid of me.  The ones I’d follow right off the edge of the earth.

“So that’s your trigger too,” Naomi says, looking pleased with herself.

Alpha-ness.  I’ve called it so many things over the years.  Manly man.  Caveman.  Brute, even.

When it comes to that basic, primal instinct for “choosing a mate,” all feminist and philosophical enlightenment goes out the window.  At least for me.  And normally, I’m one independent thinker who fiercely guards her space – I’ve repeatedly picked near-abject poverty over the “security” a “decent” man could provide.  But put me in helpless kitten mode, and I’m the willing little woman nestled in the arms of a big protective man.

Not that being alpha has to do with size or stature; “big” man, “little” woman is perception.  It has nothing to do with real brutes or caveman types.

It’s power.

“So this is why I’ve always had a thing for my professors!”  I exclaim.

Or my bosses, or film directors – men in a position of authority over me.  Although, I’m sure the bit of conquering involved on my part figures into it too, in the way of Naomi’s so-called challenge.  Maybe a strong woman simply wants a strong man.

A super strong alpha man.

It’s not that any alpha would do.  It would have to be the guy you’re attracted to anyway because you like something about his smile, and the way his mind works.

But throw the alpha quality into the mix, and you insure my glorious doom.

Naomi squeezes herself and nuzzles the air.  We’re too cool to let out kitty sounds in public, otherwise we would.

Unluckily or luckily, by virtue of their nature, true alpha males are scarce.

This may be a good thing because I’d hate to see myself as all geisha.  And no gunmetal.

(Part 1 of 2.  Concluded in the Letter B post)

~ Part of the A to Z Challenge ~
A post a day except Sunday for the month of April to cover topics beginning with each letter of the alphabet.

Cathartic Monkeyism returns in May.

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  1. Bob Milne · · Reply

    Awesome approach to your A to Z theme – looking forward to seeing how it progresses.

    1. Thanks… I don’t know if I have a theme as much as planning to use an element out of each post to expound on in the next.

  2. I wonder what is the female equivalent of the alpha male? The woman who effortlessly turns grown men into lovesick lunatics.

    1. That is a great question. Any ideas?

      1. Seductive Muse (in response to comment below)

  3. lrconsiderer · · Reply

    Femme Fatale? (in response to the above)

    This should be good 😀

    1. But of course!! And I didn’t haven’t my F topic yet… Hmm.

      1. lrconsiderer · ·

        *grins* I guess the obvious would be far too easy, if it’s to be part of a relationship series 😉

        (and perhaps a little too much Truth!)

        Course, if you’re going to go with Femme Fatale for ‘F’, you might have to add some kind of selfie…

    2. The ‘femme fatale’ is the dark side of the Aphrodite archetype right. That personality type can also have a positive outworking. Seductive Muse?

      1. lrconsiderer · ·


        I’d agree with ‘muse’ if the sight of such a female inspired more than the one thought in the man 😉

        But perhaps that’s entirely unfair and done for effect 😉

        I like your thinking.

      2. Seductive Muse implies existence for someone. The Femme Fatale has her own agenda, which may or may not result in you being left out in the cold.

  4. Very interesting take on the challenge – Some of your descriptions stand out and speak to me. Curious about how you take it further 🙂

  5. jny_jeanpretty · · Reply

    fascinating and fun to read! Loved every second of it!!! jean

  6. That was fun! And I’m definitely on the lookout for my own alpha male. Haha. Cheers for A!

  7. As one who has been described as an Alpha male I am looking forward to part 2.

  8. maurnas · · Reply

    I never went for Alpha males. I always thought they’d be more likely to be abusive. Couldn’t have been more wrong about that one!

    1. Yeah, I think it’s the alpha-wannabe that can be abusive.

  9. Very intriguing 🙂

    1. Thanks…

  10. You brought me in, captured my attention. A nice hybrid piece that blurs the lines of fiction and reality. Curious to see what ‘B’ brings us.

    Kate at Daily discovery

  11. Thank you everyone, for reading and commenting!

  12. Stephen Tremp · · Reply

    Welcome to A to Z Challenge! A very good piece of flash fiction to start the day.

    1. The piece isn’t fiction. More creative non-fiction.

      Thank you for the welcome!

  13. Outstanding, as usual. Well done, GG.

    1. Thank you, my friend.

      1. You are very welcome.

  14. Oh, I love. First off– interesting that you are into the alpha male thing, hmmm! And: This was written so perfectly, I love it. You nailed it with the dialogue and descriptions.

    1. I’ve had to add a whole paragraph in there to clarify what “alpha” aspects I actually meant. And thanks!

  15. Paul · · Reply

    “Alphas” are peculiar creatures. It’s my experience that a real Alpha has areas of expertise and is inquisitive and a good follower in areas of non-expertise. (In expertise also, but no one has a greater whole unnedrstanding than the Alpha). The owner of a billion dollar company that I worked for was unquestionably Alpha. One day he dropped by the shipping area from the parking lot and sought me out. His question was”Is it OK if I park my car there for a few minutes?” This guy’s a billiionaire, owns the very ground I’m standing on, his underlings sign my paycheque and he asks if he OK to park there? Shit, he could’ve parked in my office if he wanted. Another time, I met the same man outside my office as he was ducking under a safety rail into a high traffic forklift area. This was a pretty common tactic and I had asked maintenance many times to put a gate there so people could watch for traffic as they entered the danger zone. No luck. So, I cautioned the ower to be careful as he ducked under the rail, and I figured this was a great way to get my gate. I asked him about it and told him how many times I’d asked maintenance and his response was: ” I have that problem sometimes too, but I just keep asking and eventualy they so tired of listening to me that they do what I want just to get rid of me.” This man could crush, with financial might, all but about 10 people in this city. He had built a business from nothing to a major retailer. And he was very open and kind and considerate because he had found that was the way to best get what he wanted without damaging anything – he had the power and he knew it and didn’t have to flaunt it. Some years later, I saw him very mad on one occassion (not at me, Thank God) and his anger could have knocked the walls of the building down. The CEO , CFO, CIO and VP’s ran for cover. The very air vibrated.

    My point is that this man used to walk into his flagship store on a Saturday morning dressed in jeans and a checkered farmer’s shirt and buy a few items and take them through the cash – and pay for them – and you would never in the whole world guess he was Alpha. But he was – a billionaire Alpha. At work, if you met him in the hallway of head office, his first comment wouldn’t be “Hello” ot “How are you?” . it would be “What have you done today to make me money?” And you had better have a good answer. It always made you think before doing anything – is this generating revenue?

    There is no way you could ever identify this man as an Alpha in a normal situation. Therein lies my issue, the ones who instantly appear to be Alphas are often wannabes because the real ones don’t need to flaunt their power. Now it is quite possible that women have an Alpha Radar that they can turn on and suss out the presence of such a beast, I can’t address that. I can warn that the Alphas I know often don’t play by the same rules as everyone else. But that being said, it’s always best to follow your gut in matters of the heart. So, have at ‘er GG! We expect, of course, to read about it in your blog.

    1. I think women do have an alpha radar… Also, yes, true power doesn’t feel the need to flaunt it.

  16. Excellent! our opening post was Alpha Male/ Female as well – with a different take…:)
    Happy A- Z-ing!

    1. Going to check it out now!

  17. […] was reminded of this recently when reading The Alpha Male by another good friend I found through twitter. I have no reason to believe she is a Sub by the […]


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